Posted: 6/14/17
“Over my dead body!”
Imagine you find yourself living in your favorite genre:
MURDER! What are you going to do to
survive? There are two ways to be killed
in a murder mystery. Either you are the
victim of murder or you are the murderer which ultimately is caught and
executed for justice sake. Here are some
ways to avoid a date with death.
If You are the Murderer
Avoid the Sleuth- For some
reason murders like to hang around and chitchat with the sleuth. With bloated egos, they truly believe they
have pulled to wool over an investigator’s eyes. An excellent example of this scenario is
found in the show Columbo. It is enjoyable to watch how shocked the
character becomes when they realize that Columbo was on to them… the entire
time.
It is intriguing because most viewers know what people
are really like: overly confident. It is
in a sense enjoyable to watch a coldhearted killer be tricked and caught. The best solution in escaping the noose is to
stay clear of the detective.
Be Smart- Nothing can ruin
your day like a botched-up murder. Most
killings happen in the heat of the moment insuring the 100% probability of
being caught. The premeditated murders
have a much higher chance of surviving.
85% of the time they will be caught, but that 15% chance of getting away
with murder is more likely on your side if you have carefully plotted and
successfully executed your plan.
Don’t Have a Motive- Most
murderers can’t help their actions due to their motives behind the
killing. If you keep a pure heart and
clear conscience towards everyone you meet, you have no reason to be on the
suspect list.
Nice Guys Finish Last- It is a sad fact, but a lot of characters
commit the dastardly sin to justify a wrong doing in their eyes. I can’t count the number of times I have
heard a character say, “Well… they had it coming.” Yes, the viewers/readers might have wanted
the victim dead, but that often leads to a reserved seat on the electric chair. Keep that “Raskolnikov mentality” in check!
If You are the Innocent
Don’t Be a Jerk- If you walk around stepping on toes, stealing
livelihoods, or are just being plain old nasty, watch your back! Nine times out of ten, the character that is
giving everyone problems will be the one that becomes violently expired.
Keep Your Nose Down- Being witness to something you should never
have seen, whether it be another murder or possibly a steamy love affair, is a
sure-fire guarantee of death. The murderer
will want to tie up any loose ends.
Minding your own business and keeping your eyes on your own problems is
the best way to staying alive.
Be Friends with the Sleuth, NOT a Friend of
a Friend- If you know a detective or
a citizen that randomly solves crimes become attached to their hip. By doing so, you are allowing yourself to
become a key role. This is the only
way. Be very cautious if a friend starts
a conversation stating, “Oh my detective friend is coming into town. He is working on a case.” In these circumstances, it is best to just
leave town for the next forty minutes (the time it takes for a sleuth to figure
out “who-dun-it”). If you do not take
these precautions, be prepared to become a suspect, guilty or not.
Location, Location, Location-
If you have the habit of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, you
will most likely not survive a murder mystery.
Avoid these following areas: dark alleys, the top of staircases, abandoned
workplaces, empty houses or lake houses, forests, lonely roads, trains, large
mansions or castles, theatres, public demonstrations, or any questionable
establishments. If you are alone in one
of these places and you hear eerie music in the background, you might end up
with gloved fingers around your neck.
Don’t Change Your Will- Now
granted not everyone can help accumulating wealth. In the best scenario, keep your original
decisions on how you divide your estate the same. If you decided to change things, it most
likely be the last decision you make. A
disgruntled family member will always, always, always seek revenge or try and
find a way to expedite their future.
Don’t Involve Yourself in a Bribe- Say you find out a secret, the best thing you
can do is avoid the person at all costs and never ever threaten them with your
knowledge. Yes, it is a powerful thing
to know someone’s dark past. You could
make quite a lot of money or take the upper hand in a situation. You are dancing with fire. Eventually your victim will make you their
victim.
Don’t Fall in Love- Some lovers will make it out of murder
mysteries alive, but most will not. A
love triangle is the biggest no-no.
Simply stay a hermit and do not make googly eyes at anyone.
Lack Talent, Wealth, and Secrets-
The more valuable you are, the more likely you will fall victim to a
killer. The worse you could do is become
ridiculously rich, practice science in your spare time, and make a new
discovery that could change the world.
That kind of behavior is like sticking a note on your back that says,
“Insert knife here!” Best to stay poor,
stupid, and don’t let others tell you their secrets.
These simple tips should help you last through the first
half of any murder mystery. Just one more
thing… it is all very elementary if you use your little gray cells.
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